It is almost better to never know what you are in for. Taking someone that has never been tent camping before is the best. In the movies, photos, marketing (admittedly so), it seems so glamorous. You just set up your tent with a smile, have a fire, get a good night’s sleep, and enjoy the outdoors. I am looking at you, Bass Pro.
Camping is just a little bit of what marketing says it is, and then so much more. Sure, they can sell you a tent, but they can’t set it up for you. (I still love you Bass Pro and REI!).
Don’t get me wrong, I love camping. People who know me are always surprised by that, because I currently live a mostly urban life and created situations to live the least rural life possible (in lieu of being from a farm in Iowa square-baling hay and riding horses, the works, when I was 12 years old until I was 18 and then still helping out when I was in college in Omaha, NE for undergraduate school and graduate school). However, camping holds a very soft spot in my heart. I have so many very early memories camping with my family and since then:
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Alaska: camping in our snowpants (because it got that cold at night), going to the bathroom on a baby potty because us three girls were not old enough to know how to go lean up against a tree yet, sleeping just in a sleeping bag that my family still has 30 years later, fishing, and hiking. I’m sure there were worries, but I had none and thought it was a blast, especially Kodiak Bear Island — when my dad almost missed the plane off of the island trying to take photos of a bear and getting chased into a portapotty. Somehow, we got him back in time for take-off.
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Alaska: The Reds are Running (Red King Salmon). IYKYK. I am going to save this story for another post, but, let’s just say more than one person from multiple states camped in the front yard of an Angel that we happened to meet at 2:00am that worked at Burger King.
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Colorado: My dad had four kids and only myself (8 years old) and my sister (7 years old) were old enough yet to climb off of the beatin’ path through Brush Creek just up from Eagle, CO to get to “the spot” to get the most trout. Now, my adult brother is the real expert and knows the real spots. That is one cool thing about being a kid — you just think everything is normal. Yeah, we will just all three wear these creoles with our fishing licenses and put them in whichever has more capacity. The real fishing is off of the trail climbing through the brush. I will hand it to my dad, he was such a good fisherman, but he spent most of his time training us on how we could snag trout out of the stream while we never did it right and he spent 80% of the time trying to get our fishing lines out of trees, literally climbing them. Don’t worry, my mom’s one steadfast rule is that we wore life jackets. But, we still got our limit.
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The Ponderosa, Lake City, IA: Canoeing for the first time when you are 21 years-old and realizing you don’t need THAT big of a cooler for tipping-purposes. Setting up a real-life WWII tent with VI sets of poles and duct tape to make it work for my parents. Some people still appreciate the real canvas. Surviving actual surrounding tornadoes in a tent (testing out what were legitimate waterproof sleeping bags, thankfully). For those that took a Lunesta that night (not me), you slept the best. (Lunesta — Call me for your next ad campaign.)
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Six-Spot Campsite Southern Iowa that you can bring horses to: — We can have fun anywhere. And we did. Plenty of fire, fun, and ticks. I will say, this is the first time I have ever had to tie my tent to a tree with baling twine because the storms were so strong. Between the competitive game of sand volleyball lifting others up and the flat air mattress, I actually cried when my back hurt so bad. I barely could get up to go to the bathroom. I got over it in an hour, but still. No one from my tent was mad to leave at 5am by Sunday morning. But, still fun and an epic all-ages volleyball tournament.
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Last Camping Spot in the Smokies for Labor Day Weekend, Pigeon Forge, TN: I affectionately call this camping spot by various names that are not upstanding, but beggars can’t be choosers. However, my sister, niece, and I grabbed this last minute spot open to go hike to waterfalls in the Smoky Mountains over Labor Day Weekend. What came with it was, hiking the best waterfalls in the Smokies and some “what not to do” life lessons we learned from other people’s mistakes. Not leaving the rain flap off of your tent is the cleanest lesson I can say. Also, if you sleep with someone who sleeps naked and you get up to pack up and go to the bathroom, don’t leave your tent flap open at 10:00am when everyone else is packing up and they are still sleeping. I guess we need to acknowledge that as a pro tip. And, the guy we don’t know that we nicknamed, “Frank,” based on his voice, we really hope you two made up after she was so mad that you had too many beers when you came back to the tent on Saturday night that she left. Waterfalls and swimming hole were great, though! (More on that swimming hole in another post.)
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Planned Campground in the Smokies, Cosby, TN: I accidentally picked the air mattress out of storage that unknowingly had a hole in it and only lasted 2 hours before needing air on a gravel camping pad while the campsite next door arrived at 3:00am to set up and decided to, what sounded like, erect a two-story “Bob the Builder” home, next door until 5:30am. Needless to say, there was only a tent by 9:00am. At least, the travel beach umbrella (with careful coordination and two people) ended up being a good tool for cooking the steak kabobs already prepped and packed in the cooler the next night while it rained. And, I bought extra steak after hiking that day to host a different next-door tent neighbor that I ended up talking to the night before and they ended up taking shelter elsewhere after the rain got so bad the next night) in the rain downpour over the fire. People are so flaky. (Why did I even pack a travel beach umbrella? Who knew. Why was I also trying to host another campsite next door?) Bottom line, my great steak kabobs got cooked, rain or not.
All of these memories I have good things from: funny stories, things we have accomplished together, paths we have traveled together, inside jokes and sayings, exploring the country, beautiful spaces, and getting to know each other in a very raw way. When no one is in a fashion show and you have to work together to make it all happen, plus just spending all of your time with those people creates an environment where you actually really get to know each other. There is no time for devices — we have to get the tent up before it rains and is even darker!
So, because every camping trip ends up great when you are done, I always remember them being very great.
Hence, I planned this one — another one. It was really great. But, it did not disappoint me in its work and trials as I should have expected. Maybe I wanted it not too, or it would not have been any fun and no stories. Do you actually go camping if you do not want it to be an adventure? Isn’t that the only reason you do anything outside of your comfort zone anyways?
For this one, it was someone else’s birthday week, have never tent-camped, cooked over a fire, whitewater rafted, or been to Chattanooga, so let’s do it to celebrate you. Recommendation: Spend time with someone that wants to do those things, especially if they have never done any of them before. And, go camping at the Hiwassee/Ocoee Scenic River State Park. It is beautiful, a good location to drive to outdoor activities or on-site, solid functional grates for fire-cooking, and a clean bathhouse with showers.
In terms, we were not starting from nothing. I have the basic tent camp setup you need to be comfortable, cook well, and be prepared for rain. Hence, DIY Glamping. I set all of my own stuff up, but it’s only Tier 1 glamping.
Pro Tips:
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Take a step back when it’s not coming together and reassess. After you get the bed set up inside your tent you will step outside and finally see how the better rain flap pole should go in the rain flap.
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Learn to be better at giving directions. If someone has never set up a tent before, why should they not put the poles solidly in the mud while it’s raining instead of the 1.5 inch pins on the side of the tent? Now, you have to clean them all out. But, really, you should just know your audience and give better directions.
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Also, know your audience when someone needs to get dinner going so everyone can eat it while you divide and conquer, considering you didn’t get to the site to start tent set-up until 8:00pm.
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It doesn’t matter if people are probably posting your tent campsite setup to TikTok while they enjoy their beers under their canopies in the rain. You got this.
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Once you get your canopy set up, those canopies are majorly worth it. They always remind me of track or cross country, but invest in one for camping. You can always place it over your picnic table if it rains. I’m 2-2 on that one — much better than my cross country record ever was, ha.
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Bass Pro REAL sleeping bags: Buying sleeping bags for Cody and Alaia’s wedding. We didn’t even know the water leaked from the rainstorm the first night through the tarp and tent until I went to pack up the sleeping back and it was slightly wet on the bottom. But, because it was waterproof, I didn’t even notice and it can just dry out.
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Lodge Cast Iron — Always keep it seasoned well: bonfire, no soap, always lathered with oil after use.
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Camping Cooking:
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NY Strips (recipe coming soon)
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Teriyaki Salmon (recipe coming soon)
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Hobo Stew: While it did not make the cut for the trip, is always a good play in some tin foil:
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Potatoes
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Carrots
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Butter
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Packet of Ranch Seasoning
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Activities:
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Blow-Up Kayak Lake Rafting
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Class IV Whitewater Rafting
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When you get thrown out of the boat, trust, you will come up to the surface. And, someone will be there to grab your paddle. And, as long as you swim back to it, someone will help you in.
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Throw on a dress, put your hair up in a bun, and go eat a late lunch in Chattanooga at State of Confusion. Have some great ceviche you didn’t have to cook over a fire (even though that was fun for a while). Get the original. Real Peruvian ceviche is hard to come by in land-locked Tennessee. You will be glad you got the real deal.
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So where does jail come into it? One good way to test any kind of a relationship, is camping, fun or not. Don’t be the people that have to have the Park Ranger and two cop cars show up at their campsite because you and your significant other (the two campsites/neighbors down from us) are in a fight. I’m not sure if anyone actually went to jail, but, if the cops get called, you probably are not going camping together again. It really only impacted them, but it is still unfortunate. Funny or not funny, it did give our friends a little to joke about when they jokingly said before we even left to go camping about how going camping is a good way to test a relationship.
Camping, cooking, weather, whitewater rafting, cleaning, being dirty, everything being dirty, and other crazy campers may test relationships. But, maybe the camping, cooking, weather, whitewater rafting, sleeping in a tent, everyone being dirty, having to do all of the work together, seeing new scenery and places, getting outside and some exercise, laughing about all of it, and creating new memories and stories actually doesn’t test our relationships but makes them stronger.
Cheers to the outdoors, adventures, and the people we get to experience them with.
